Model of Kindness in Family
The Islamic basis of the concept of kindness in the family can be rooted in verse 21 of Surah Ar-Rum which reads “His creating love and mercy among you”.
This concept is defined for both men and women. When amity and mercy are formed, peace is established.
Amity is the combination of kindness and desiring something. When somebody desires something or someone, he or she will create good imagination about the target and builds affection towards that.
This concept in the family means that his/her spouse is dreamy and lovely, beyond the usual romantic feeling.
Mercy is the heartfelt compassion towards the emotional needs of others. Individuals at first understand the need of the other side, then their emotions are aroused, and finally, they carry out the act of helping.
According to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), “Hearts are made to love those who do good to them, and hate those who do evil to them.”
“When it became dark at night, he (Abraham) saw a star and said, "This is my lord." But when it disappeared, he said, "I do not love those who fade away"” (Suran Al-An’am, verse 76). Humans do not like those who fade away. So, the more one considers his/her spouse to be complete, the more his/her emotions are aroused.
If members of a family only focus on defects, one cannot expect kindness between husband and wife. Imam Ali (AS) has called on men to behave gently with women.
Women, like flowers, are delicate and men have power; men are in need of women’s features and vice versa. Therefore, when these two are put beside each other, they will find peace.
This article is a summary of remarks made by Hojat-ol-Islam Abbas Pasandideh at an international conference focusing on religion and family
